.

I still think about you, sometimes. And every time I do I can't help but to think that I was never good enough for you.

I mean if I was, why would you leave me for another, right?

Why would you leave me for someone that has hurt your countless times? (according to what you told me) And the fact that she has done whatever she did to you and you still chose to go back to her despite whatever that I have done shows a lot.

I mean... When you came back after that incident, I was prepared to watch you leave. But I was not prepared for the waves of emotions that would just hit me randomly at random periods the day. And that is something i really hate a lot.

Not being able to control my emotions is something so frustrating.

And even though I was prepared about you leaving me again, I still believed all the words that you told me.

Maybe I was really stupid. Maybe you were really selfish. Maybe it's both.

But it's just really painful you fooled me three times, and you made me hurt three times.

I just think it's so unfair that I am the one so affected, and I am the one hurt by this whole situation while you are just living your life happily, as if I never existed.

I would say that after this whole thing that we had (not even sure what it was to be really honest), I learnt many things.

But then again those "many things" I have warned myself about before you existed. And I have built a wall around myself to make sure that that "many things" won't affect me or hurt me, and it worked because for the past years of my life, I have been protecting myself. But it was only for you that it was so easy for me to break my walls and let you enter.

It was only you that it was so easy for me to show my feelings. It was only you that I've done so many things for the first time (something I thought I'd never do to any boy ever).

And that is something I really regret a lot.